2:18 am

The nurse is hoping like hell she doesn't die tonight. She's never done a post-mortem work-up and by the sound of it i'm guessing she doesn't want to start tonight. Mrs G never should have been intubated in the first place. She's 87, she's been bedbound for 3 years, she hasn't said a word for over 2 years and she's contracted in all her limbs and neck. By the look of the earwax blocking up both ears, and the dry skin that covers her tiny head that has fallen and made a pile in the crook of her neck - no one is caring for this woman. This is her end; or at least the end of this.

The only reason they put the breathing tube in is beaurocracy. Her health proxy died, and the doctor able to renew her DNR (do not resuscitate) was late coming from another hospital - and when her oxygen saturation dropped to 77, they tubed her. I had her that night she was admitted. I felt sorry for her that the paper pushers failed her, that some home health aide and their agency was collecting money for what they weren't doing, and that she was trapped in that crooked shell for awhile longer.

The paper pushers have been satisfied a week later, and palliative care made sense to the pushers, so today they took the tube out and she's breathing on her own. Who know's for how long. I went into her room earlier to see her, place a warm hand on her, silently wish her well, and to sit with her for a bit. There was no reason to, no medical need, but a little company is always nice - perhaps even now.

We're all waiting for her to die now. I'd just like to see her get to leave of her own volition.